


Keep Kissing (It'll Work I Swear)

by Sassy_Cage



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Suicide, This is a weird situation please forgive me on that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 17:11:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13081455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sassy_Cage/pseuds/Sassy_Cage
Summary: "You wanna talk more, or do you just wanna keep kissing?"Gerard smiles, and even if Frank can't see it, he smiles back."Lets just keep kissing. Trust me, it works."(Just to let you know, this hurt me to write)





	Keep Kissing (It'll Work I Swear)

Frank had been playing video games when Gerard started crying. He'd been playing video games while Gerard was messing around on his phone. It was a typical day. 

 

And then, just suddenly, Gerard burst into tears. But not just weeping. Violent shaking, sobbing so hard Frank was worried Gerard might throw up, and gasping for breath _crying_. 

Frank didn't know what to do, so he went to his default, putting his arm around Gerard and rubbing his shoulder.

 

"Hey, bud-"

He stops mid sentence when Gerard grabs at the front of his shirt, curling into Frank's arms and burying his face into his shirt. Frank realized why but it was just...not what he expected.

It  _is_ full body shaking, Frank realizes, and it  _is_ serious crying and it hits Frank how dire this situation is, truly. Gerard never really cried, let alone sobbed, and it broke Frank's heart to see it, to feel it, and it almost pushed him to tears as well.

 

"Hey, Gee tell me whats going on."

He makes his voice soft and as calming as it can be and it seems to help a little. Gerard is able to speak, he isn't gasping for breath as much anymore.

 

"He's gone, Frankie, and theres nothing I can do about it!"

Frank's heart breaks just a little more and he pulls Gerard into his lap. If it wasn't within the situation of Gerard being absolutely destroyed, Frank would think this was cute, Gerard all curled up in his lap. 

But right now Gerard was helpless. He was scared and alone and hurt. 

It had just hit Gerard that his brother was dead, and that he had to be the one to find him. 

 

Gerard was deeply overwhelmed. He didn't really remember that day very well, and he was vaguely aware that Mikey's room was empty and he was never in the house but he never questioned it.

Now it was different. He had come across  _something_ that triggered his brain to remember everything, fucking  _everything_ from that day. In perfect detail. And that was overwhelming. Because not only did he remember that but, by extension, he came to the crushing realization that Mikey was never ever coming back and that his room would always be empty, his bass untouched, his notebook only filled with notes, his old childhood toys unmoved, his bed unmade, and thats how it would be forever. He was never coming home, Gerard would never hear his laugh or see his smile or hug him or tell him he loves him ever again. 

His little brother. His everything. The only family he'd had left. And he hadn't done anything. He didn't save him. 

 

"I didn't save him, I didn't help him! Hes dead and its all my fault! I should have listened, I should have been there just fucking  _anything_ but I wasn't and now hes fucking dead!"

Frank pulls Gerard closer and holds him tighter.

"Jesus, Gee its...its not your fault. You...you couldn't have known, baby. You couldn't have known, you couldn't have told. Fuck, none of us could have. He was sad, yeah. He was crying out for help? Sure. But we helped as much as we could. We put our hearts and our souls into helping him. You know that. I know that. Ray knows that. And y'know, Gee? Mikey knows that too."

Gerard starts crying again at that.

"He'd never forgive me, Frank! Never ever! If he came back today he wouldn't want anything to do with me!"

Frank shakes his head.

"Thats not true and you know it. What did his note say, Gee, do you remember?"

Now that he'd remembered everything else, he did indeed remember.

"It....It said that I wasn't at fault. That no one was at fault. That he loved me. That he wanted me to stay alive for him and that he never meant to hurt me."

"Right. Does that sound like hatred to you?"

Gerard lets out a shaky breath and shakes his head.

"I...guess not. I guess not."

 

Then Gerard came to crushing realization number three, and he starts breaking down all over again.

"What is it, hon? Whats-"

"You're all I have left, Frankie! You're all I have! Everyone is dead or has abandoned me and...you're all I've got!"

That makes Frank start to tear up.

"Jesus, Gee...I...fuck..."

He can't say Gerard is wrong because he isn't. Mikey is dead now, and Ray skipped town after Mikey died, ghosting both Frank and Gerard. They only knew he was alive because they saw the typing icons sometimes when they texted him.

He can't say Gerard is wrong, and that hurts more than he can say and he pulls Gerard closer and Gerard switches so his face is buried into Frank's neck and they just fucking  _cry_   nothing else, they just cry and hold each other as if its the last thing they'll ever do.

And in a sense, it is. This is the end of an era in their lives. This is the end of a long era of having people around. A long era of friends and family who will love them no matter what. The end of the era of having Mikey and Ray to live for and look forward to and love. 

This was the end of the era of love, and now it was the era of survival.

So they do cry. Over their lost friends. Over their lost friends who deserved better and didn't get it. Over their lost friends who won't be coming home.

They cry for hours, it seems, and theres a few minutes where the roles are reversed. Frank is crying uncontrollably and Gerard is just holding him, tearstains dried, now just a deep, pit of his stomach sad and he just holds Frank. He just holds him until the tears pass and then its just the two of them. The two of them who now have realized the truth and are terrified.

Frank, not trusting himself to speak, gestures to the bedroom and Gerard nods and leads him there. 

 

They  _do_ pass by Mikey's room and Gerard almost passes it without a second thought.

But, this time, he goes back. Looks around his brother's room, taking in everything uniquely Mikey about it. 

 

And then he slowly closes the door behind him.

 

Frank is almost brought to tears by this one small act because it means  _so fucking much_ but he holds back because Gerard looks like hes gonna cry and Frank needs to be there for him. Gerard immediately tucks to Frank's side after, only looking back at the now closed door once before looking back forward.

 

Once they do get to Gerard's bedroom, they both slowly settle under at least three blankets and curl up together, facing each other, legs intertwined, arms thrown around each others shoulders and they don't turn on a light or open the blinds they just lie there, breathing in sync and it takes a while but Gerard eventually just kisses Frank. 

And it  _is_ a romantic kiss, but its something else too. Its saying "I'm in love with you" but its also saying "I love you", "You're my best friend", and "You're all I've got and I hope you understand that."

So, when Frank kisses back, he speaks through his kiss too, again not just "I'm in love with you" but "I love you too", "You're all I've ever wanted", and, most importantly "I'm never leaving you."

 

Then they pull back and lie there again, breathing slightly more uneven.

After a minute or two, Gerard looks down and speaks.

"Did I ever tell you what happened?"

Frank shakes his head.

"I'm...I'm going to."

Frank nods, afraid to speak.

"It was about 5 PM. I had just gotten back from school. I yelled for Mikey but he didn't reply. It was strange since his car was in the driveway but I thought nothing of it. So, I went and changed in my room and noticed that Mikey's door was closed. I knocked and got no reply. So I came in and he wasn't there. Then I noticed his bathroom door was closed and I sighed with relief and told him he worried me. Again, I got no reply. I tried for 15 minutes to get a reply and I couldn't. so finally, I tried the door. I opened it and there he was. The floor was pristine, but the sink had blood in it, and there were notes on the counter. When I looked at one I realized what was going on and I panicked. I realized then that I never checked the bathtub for Mikey. Frankie, you have no idea how hard it was to do that. And I really shouldn't have pulled back that curtain. I should have called the cops. But I thought he was just maybe, passed out or he failed and was ashamed and wouldn't talk to me. So I did open the curtain and there he was. It was clear he was dead. The bathwater was red as the blood that had been in his veins in the first place. I was quiet at first but then I started shaking. The police could hardly understand me because I was crying so hard. They took him to the hospital and I stayed with him for as long as I could. I held his hand, I begged him to stay. And then, they came in one day, and pronounced him dead. 100%. So I cried some more, and then I came back here. I'll be honest, Frank, I tried  _myself_ that night. I tried the same way he did, but I ended up pussying out. And thats how its been. His door was open every single day until just today."

Frank pulls him closer.

"I'm so sorry, Gee. I'm so glad you're alive though, and that you're here. But I'm so sorry. "

And Gerard squeezes Frank hard.

And they stay like that until Gerard is again, calm. 

Gerard kisses Frank again and Frank hesitantly kisses back. He really doesn't wanna kiss an upset Gerard, he didn't want to be the kiss Gerard would remember and regret. 

But this was earnest and hard and Frank realized that this was unrelated and now Gerard just wanted to forget for a bit.

So, Frank kissed back.

When they pulled away, Frank ran his fingers through Gerard's hair.

"You wanna talk more, or do you just wanna keep kissing?"

Gerard smiles, and even if Frank can't see it, he smiles back.

"Lets just keep kissing. Trust me, it works."

So thats exactly what they did, until Gerard pulled away around 3AM and buried his face in Frank's shirt and muttered "g'night".

 

Frank had thought that this was the era of survival. Of just surviving and letting everything that has happened to them just haunt them.

But he realizes then, as the sun rises and he opens the blinds and the sun illuminates Gerard's face, that that doesn't have to be the case. This could be the era of  _living_ , not just surviving. Of recovering, letting the pain of the past go, but not the memories they made with the people who left them. 

This could very well be the era of love, the era of Gerard and Frank, the era of love and recovery and kissing and cuddling and  _loving_.

And as Gerard yawned and threw an arm around Frank again as soon as he lied down, opening his eyes and smiling at Frank as if nothing bad has happened, he realized that it will be that era. 

And as the two of them, once four of them, were known for, they'd make the most of it.


End file.
